View Single Post
Old 03-05-2014, 05:46 PM
willowstar willowstar is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 122

My first husband was an alcoholic, so when we split up I had a lot of issues being around people who drank. I was very emotionally triggered by people who had been drinking because of the experiences I had with him. He was likely bipolar and became very depressed when drunk. I was always hypervigilant around alcohol.

So, I married a guy who hardly ever drinks, except an occasional sip. Although when he does sip, it is usually Jaegermeister or some homemade potato vodka his SIL makes.... He also falls asleep easily...

BF does not drink either, unless he is home, and even then just a few times a year. He has too many memories of waking up in his early twenties in a strange bathroom, with no pants, or with the fish missing from the fish tank. He considers his drinking days to be over. He is the guy who will always come to pick you up no matter what the hour.

I do like to have a drink or two. It does help me relax, but not for doing things that I would not be doing otherwise. I find that mixed drinks give me the buzz I want without the fuzzy decision making, which wine does.

I can understand why people would not want alcohol involved. It can leave doubts as to whether the person you are with is really into you, or just losing their normal filters. I agree with Ariakas that having a consent prior to the drinking is a great idea.

Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming... ~ Dori

Willow ~ 47yo bi poly woman, married to Bear for 20 years
Bear-59 yo maybe poly/maybe mono straight man, still feeling it out
Reply With Quote