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Old 03-05-2014, 03:18 AM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,477

I've spent the last few days at PunkRockAwesomesauce's house, and we've hit a couple of bumps. Last night I fell asleep and he couldn't rouse me, so he, uh, took care of things himself in another room. He told me this, this morning and it left me really sad. This was mainly communication - I told him next time to wake me up or he had permission to make a mess. I am way too horny to let him waste fun in that way! I mean, it is one thing to do it when I am not around, but dude - I'm in your bed! He said he wasn't used to being able to ask that and he'd make sure to share next time. Still, it left me feeling down.

Also, apparently some chick from his past found him on OKCupid (we both disabled our accounts but before that). She messaged him as a friend and he gve her his phone number. Well today, she propositioned him, wanting a hook up. Wow, when he told me that, it was like someone punched me in the gut. I tried to get a handle on my emotions really fucking quick, but I think he saw how unprepared I was to hear that. Coming on a few hours after him masturbating on his own, it kind of put me in a weird funk.

I decided to let it be a non-issue. I trust him. He told me about her initial message last week, and he showed me the messages she sent today. He plans to meet her for a platonic lunch on Thursday. I certainly feel a bit threatened by her - she definitely didn't pull punches with what she wanted, and they have messed around in the past. I don't blame her - I call him awesomesauce for a reason!

So, yeah. We've decided to be exclusive and polyfi and here so early in I am feeling vulnerable. It kinda sucks. He reassured me later that everything is great and that he loves me. I know this, so I am trying to keep breathing. It would really suck to lose him. This chicka is newly single and monogamous. I feel threatened by that because those are both things I am not.

B, my long term FWB, messaged me tonight. I hadn't heard from him dive I sent him a goodbye text last month, explaining I had found a love. He just said congrats and he hopes I was still feeling blissful.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)
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