Thread: Hello all :-)
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Old 03-03-2014, 09:54 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings Bongurin,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Jeezh, I don't know that you have a lot of options. First of all, it seems unwise to continue having sex behind the husband's back, that's cheating (and usually leads to a trainwreck). Secondly, I don't know what kind of evidence she's looking for when she asks you to prove you want her for a friend? Don't know if you could just come right out and ask her what would prove it to her?

I have a feeling the sex with her will have to stop (at least) for awhile, and you'll have to "prove" that you accept your place "in the friend zone" even though you'd like more. I also think that sooner or later, you'd have to resolve with her husband the "problem" of you and her being in love. If he can't make peace with it, I don't see how the romance between you and her can survive, unless she's going to divorce him? and I doubt that'll happen (nor do we want it to happen).

I know it sucks and is painful, but most of this situation is beyond your control. There's no magic wand that can make him and her change their minds about how they feel. They have to work on that process themselves, if that's what they want to do. Perhaps you could try some more communicating with her? better communication, at a peaceful time without distractions, when you're both prepared to talk, and even more importantly, to listen.

Try that and see what comes out of future conversations with her. And eventually, future conversations with both her and him. Keep us posted ...

Sympathetic regards,
Kevin T.

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