Neither one of you seems capable of realizing that you're not going to change the other's mind. Quit banging your heads against the wall. The wall will never yield, and it does't care if you crack your skulls trying.
Especially you, bofish. You know what she's like and that she won't let go, nor is she capable of changing her mind about anything. Whether or not you think it's her job to work on the impairment, it's not your job to force her. Resist the urge to engage. I know how hard it is. Trust me, I know.
The truth is, there is no truth. You're discussing the most controversial topic on the face of the earth. There's no objective right or wrong here, there's just what works best for the people who have to make these choices for themselves. You can think it's disgusting, you can think their reasons are selfish and superficial, but they're their reasons and it's their choice, not yours.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."