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Old 04-09-2010, 05:26 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510


The best piece of advice I can give you is that you must identify what YOU want in life-what makes YOU the best person you can be and then make all of your choices based on that criteria.

Easy read on that topic-

"The Seven Levels of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly.

If you do that, you will find that some relationships go the way of the past, but the relationships you make and keep will be tailored to meeting your needs (AND THEIRS-because you will be looking for and attracting people who have healthy and SIMILAR goals/desires).

There are many people I COULD hook up with. I've had offers, people who find me attractive, not just in looks, but in personality.

BUT no matter the depth of our interest, if the situation and the "criteria" to quote Mono don't match, I choose not to go that far.

EVEN my boyfriend. His idea of a primary relationship does not currently meet my criteria. So he's NOT. I love him-I'm with him, I'm not trying to delude myself into believing he's replacable.
But I'm also not trying to force either of us to be primaries to each other-because without the criteria meshing-it will only cause pain for one or both of us.

Sounds like it's high time for you to identify your true needs and then set some specifications down for yourself.
You may find that when you are willing to expect people to meet your criteria for a relationship AS WELL as expecting yourself to meet their criteria-that they do.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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