Originally Posted by bookbug
While jealousy and insecurity may indeed be an issue, I would say that regardless of anything else, the lack of quality time is the one that predominates. You two want very different things. He does not want a defined relationship and is satisfied with seeing you infrequently, whereas you want a guy who is there for you. Bottom line, he is not that guy.
As for the insecurity / jealousy issue, it might be something you could overcome if your relationship with him was not affected by his other pursuits - but it is in terms of time, if nothing else.
That said, in polyamory, you don't have to break up with him to date someone else. Find someone who can be there for you, someone who can meet the needs he is not meeting.
Yes! I do believe that if we were to have more quality time with each other, then those negative emotions that arise would occur less frequently and would be easier to pacify. I've brought it up, we'll make plans and something comes up- canceling four times in the past two weeks. Its tough because he's currently unemployed so his reasoning behind not seeing me as frequently is because he does not want things to feel too routine, and doesn't have his apartment anymore.