I can't thank all of you enough. Just to be able to have this discussion and talk openly with people who aren't immediately rolling their eyes or thinking I'm a slut is so nice.
It's been an eye-opener to see a few people talk about not "pushing" him, which I didn't mean to do but now realize i may have been. We've cycled through resentment, defensiveness, and suspicion and are in a good place now as far as communication and honesty go, but we have a tendancy to talk about it, then things get sad and awkward for a bit, then we settle back into the usual flow til it comes up again. But I think about it daily. I have specific crushes I think of wistfully, and general longings I'm aware of always, but I think he still keeps hoping I'll just get over it. I didn't think I could, really. But maybe as has been suggested here, just having him accept that about me would go a long way toward feeling the need to act on it.
Thank you, all.