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Old 04-09-2010, 02:03 PM
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SimpleSimian SimpleSimian is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 55

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I'm working on diversifying, but making friends without relying on the crutch that is the internet, and without being in school or something, makes this very difficult. I can't even talk to most of my work friends, because I'm 22, and most of them are over 40.
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
Q1: What is the difference between male and female sex to you and why?
I really don't know. It's probably competition-based, or something. I feel like the way my wife would love a man and the way she would love a woman are completely different, therefore the sex would be different. And I only feel threatened by the idea of her having a sexual romantic relationship with another guy. Because it would be the same kind of sex. I'm not worried about not being good enough compared to somebody else, because I'm pretty confident I'm the best and nobody can beat me when it comes to listening to my wife's desires and knowing her kink inside and out.

No n00b can beat me at this, because I've got a one-year head-start on them. :P

And also, I know one thing in particular that bugs me about the idea of other men having sex with her. If the condoms ever come off, that part freaks me right out. The only seed that belongs there is mine. I think. I really don't think I could ever handle the idea of her getting pregnant with anybody other than me.
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
Q2: Why do you feel that she would be sharing "your sexual love" with someone else? If I read correctly, she doesn't look at sex the same as you but you seem to expect her to? If she never looked at sex as "sexual love" like you do, she is not sharing "your sexual love" with anyone else. She is sharing sex, plain simple sex.
What I mean is that she would be dividing the attention that would normally be focussed on sexing me, and spending pieces of it on other people. She isn't just sharing plain, simple sex. If she were, that wold be fine. She's as deeply sexual as I am (If I hadn't fucked her on our second date, she would have been devastated, as she told me later), but for some reason, I feel a kind of disconnect when we make love (though that disconnect is getting better, because we're getting over some assumptions we had -- she thought she had to look elsewhere to explore the darker, kinkier side of her sexuality, because our sex life was "too tame for that." A couple of days later, that changed, and I'm pretty sure her need to look elsewhere stopped or was strongly turned down). It's getting better. But the point still stands, that connection will be weakened by the decreased time and attention spent together in bed, and that is what I fear. I could be satisfied, somewhat by taking another romantic partner, but it still wouldn't be the same. Sex with her makes my soul jump for joy. Like actually. Nobody else will be the same, and with nobody else will my soul feel that way.
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
Q3: It might be good to figure out which parts need to be "labotomized" and which parts just need a little tweaking and reprogramming. Sometimes that is really all that is needed. The fundamental base is still good, it's just some of the other parts that need looking at.
Yeah, the reprogramming keeps happening kind of automatically, like I just think of what I want and it just happens. I'm surprised, daily, by my sudden leaps of progress.
Originally Posted by EugenePoet View Post
Yeah, and that's exactly why I don't trust words. Because I know how to use them so effectively. If I can do this, why can't other people misuse words to control situations, and people's thoughts, and feelings? They can. They do it all the time. On TV. On the Radio. In the newspaper. On the internet. Always, and everywhere.

Yeah, hurricane-force is about the only speed my emotional winds know how to blow. Once upon a time I had inner peace of sorts, but something happened to it while I wasn't paying attention. I'd like to take some time off, especially with my wife, and go camping, or something, but right now we don't have the time or money for it since our whole lives are changing all at once.

I'm not worried about somebody duplicating my sexual experiences with her, I'm worried about losing the quality of emotional, spiritual, sexual connection with her, because the bandwidth will be divided between two points. However, it is also distinctly possible that her having another romantic partner will make our sex life better, because she'll have that much more support to keep her from being hurt badly enough to lose her sex drive altogether. Because that's what's been happening. We start to bring our relationship back to a decent level of intimacy all-around, especially sexually, and then *WHAM* all of a sudden everything's worse than it was last time it was bad.

Last edited by SimpleSimian; 04-09-2010 at 02:06 PM.
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