Last night was really, really good. My husband and I stayed up until midnight, talking about PRA, poly, life, the universe and everything. He absolutely did wonders for my self-esteem and confidence level, which had both dipped a bit. (See last post!)
D said again that he likes PRA a lot, that he believes I have finally found the right sort of poly and person to make me happier. He thinks that my fears are completely unfounded - no guy in the world would make long term promises this early on in a relationship, if he didn't mean them. He was like, seriously, you would accept lesser statements and he would get the same results. Guys don't make huge promises like that if they can lie lighter.
That made sense to me. I haven't dated anyone who has said things like that, ever. Even D didn't, until he was sure. Wow. Anyway, just talking that out, made me feel so...loved. D said yes, it is very early to be talking that long term, but if things continue, he would be perfectly fine with us moving closer to PRA in a year's time, if all else in our lives fall that way. (D has a work from home job and we rent a house, so we can relocate anywhere in the world, really. Right now we live where we do because my in-laws have serious health issues and we need to be close to them.) As far as co-habitating, he thinks that would be the best thing for me emotionally, it has yet to be seen if it would be the best for PRA. I mean, we know D can feel crazy compersion when I am sleeping with PRA, but can PRA handle hearing D and I be intimate? I thought that was a good point. Again, too early for the discussion, but it is really great to see my husband wanting to discuss my poly and how it could effect him in the future. He was very very supportive.
We also discussed the desire he's articulated lately about telling his parents about me being poly, and all the stresses that will bring. D has a concert he will be singing in, in April, and he would like to invite PRA to come watch. No hesitation. We know his parents will be in attendance. I mentioned this to PRA, and he said he could sit on his own and that would be ok. I was NOT ok with this as a solution, and I told him that at the time. When I told D this, he visibly recoiled and said that was the worst idea ever. He and I are 100% on the same page there - neither of us ever want to not acknowledge PRA and his relationship with me. So, by then, at least, his parents will know. I told D he had to recognize that his parents may then not attend, and he agreed that could be an outcome. We also discussed holidays and other get-togethers. We have tabled that discussion for next week - his dad's birthday is this weekend and we don't plan to bring it up then, anyway.
PRA is coming to my house for a sleepover tonight. (Yay!) I won't be home until 6ish because I teach Chemistry until later. I mentioned to PRA that he could come over earlier if he wanted and hang with D for a short bit. I told D this and he said he would like that, and I told him I think it would be good if they had some one-on-one time to talk some stuff. So maybe that will happen.
We also discussed the trouble I have taking compliments and D thinks I have improved a lot. So that's good too.
So, everything is good. I love both my guys so much!
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (39F)
Wife to DarkKnight (40M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)