Originally Posted by PolyinPractice
Pretty much what seakinganwers said; it's not particularly poly.
1) Poly is not about adding new partners to "fix" a relationship. In fact, that is highly discouraged.
2) You cheated on him. Again, disrespectful and not poly.
3) You said he's looking for sex partners. That's called swinging/open lifestyle.
The one thing you did touch on was he wanted to be with an old friend; versus a new hookup. That DOES sound like he wants poly; but you are struggling with that. If he's really poly, he will want to be with both of you. Does that mean he'll be able to balance both of your needs? Typically, people new to poly do pretty poorly at that. But we can help give you advice on that, if that might help you.
First things first, though. Apologize, see if he can get over it (poly mindset is you either dump the person or forgive. Not allowed to continually punish). And you both stop playing stupid games with each other and treat new partners as human beings.
I am the one that wanted to be poly. It in some ways was to fix an un-fixable problem. The problem of current lack of time. I did not cheat on him. We had at that point already pre agreed it was ok for either of us to sleep with other people. His feelings of betrayal came from feeling jealous and insecure that the sex I had was a deep emotional bond and something that took something of what I care for him away. He 2 days ago did sleep with that girl Lyndy and now feels completley fine about what I did. He understands now that he was just in a storm of emotions pertaining to being scared about loosing what we have between us. Now that he has had an encounter with a woman he sees that it did not take away from any thing that we have.
And of course I apologized!