Our OP, Plainsnymph, may very well be fit. She's just comparing herself to a tiny potential metamour. No reason to suggest she isn't gorgeous and sexy just the way she is.
I am more concerned with her fear of her bf's NRE and her own drunken unsafe sex encounter... Not a good way to start being "poly."
To Nymph: letting go and going for an open relationship can be hella scary, join the club. I hope your bf and you can navigate the waters of managing multiple relationships while still enjoying and respecting each other!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37