Originally Posted by Poly85
I am new with poly and in my first relationship since my husband and I decided to try it out. Every thing has been going great with the new guy for the last 3mos till now. I have been feeling like he has been hiding things from me. Our only rule is to be honest and open. He is free to date others, but I want to know about it. I have asked on a few occasions if there is anyone at all that he is slightly interested in or even kissed. I know how bad this is going to sound and how I should respect his privacy, but I snooped in his phone. I found out that he has indeed been lying. He has gone on a couple of recent dates. He has made out with someone and told them that he wants to have sex with them. He tells me I am the only one he wants and that there is no one else. So after that I asked yet again and same answers. And he has plans to meet up with some girl he met online.
Should I give him some time to see if he comes clean on his own till I confront him? If he doesn't come clean it's over! I do NOT put up with lies!
I'm more interested in what's going on in his head.
If he says one thing and does the opposite, then he clearly doesn't know what he wants. Or maybe he does know what he wants but he's not willing to make the commitment or sacrifice.
It sounds like he wants to be monogamous but knows that he can't have that with you and so he's looking elsewhere.
Honestly, I would say let it go and move onto someone who wants the same things as you.