This might be the last entry. It's been fun.
"I pretty much got the message the last time I saw you. When you told me that you were going off the pill after the trip. I can read between your lines. I know you really well. Everything changed after I went out with J that night. I don't know if it was something I said to him or just that I went out with him or something completely different but you started distancing yourself then. I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me though. We're friends right? That was the condition. That we were friends. I don't want to be hurt over you. I have too many good memories of our times together. But I'm really hurt. I wait for you until you're ready for me. Always here for you, available and at your pleasure. And what great pleasure but it takes all the fun out of the rest of my time when I wonder what you feel and you're not telling me. I shouldn't have got so attached. I just fell in love with you and still love you. I'm not much for the distance though. It hurts. I got the message. "
"No one ever made love to you like I did and no one ever cried for you like I am. I don't blame you though. I've only ever been your flash in the pan. We had some real love though. We breathed together mouth to mouth. You'll always be in me."
"I must have a lot of tears for you because I've been up for an hour and there's no sign of them stopping yet. I always knew I would cry for you someday too. I felt them in me for months now. Mostly they were joy tears.All this love for you just welling up and pouring out. I'm not going to beg you for anything though. Closure? Your continued friendship? Validation? Honesty?"
"I already started to refocus. I got all my money finally. I inspired a new Neighbor to Neighbor group and am working outreach to help these poverty stricken people with their substandard housing. One hundred members who want to give in only 12 hours. So many tears in my eyes though, I'm afraid to go out. "
I don't expect to hear back from her.