Originally Posted by Hmm
Posted with miss asmile's permission:
I just hope I am not being a bad person by not loving her "the way she is".
I like not having to give up on a relationship just because it is not the greatest or because she is not "the one".
It gets a little overwhelming how she wants my romantic interest, or feels left out that I have romance with others but with her I feel emotionally not connected.
I suspect there will come a time, hopefully soon, when the OP will be ready to move her focus away from Hmmm and into something more mutual, with someone who considers her right for them just as she is.
Asmile, You're young, you're exploring and learning about yourself and that's great. It sounds like you grew a lot during this friendship, but perhaps it is no longer meeting your needs in its current incarnation. If you're happy doing a friends-with-benefits thing with Hmmm, that's great, but it's ok if you're just not that person. It took me many, many years to figure out that I just don't thrive in FWB relationships, and in my (vast) experience, they sure don't work when one person truly wants something more.
Personally, I get bored of FWB's quickly. I live for that emotional, romantic attachment, and when it doesn't materialize I prefer to turn my energies elsewhere. For others, FWB's work great for them. It's all ok. You will be ok if and when you let go of Hmmm whether you decide to stay FWB's or just platonic friends, or even if you decide you don't want to see him at all for a while because you need some time to get your head and heart in alignment. Do what you need to do to be comfortable in your own skin.