Originally Posted by GalaGirl
At this time...
- Are you wanting her to understand emerging poly you while maintaining a monogamous marriage?
- Are you wanting an open relationship with her and want to change the marriage shape with her?
- Are you wanting an open relationship NOT with her, and want to end the marriage with her?
- Something else?
I just wanted to check in where you are at this point in time because I get lost. There's so many other layers there with healing from cheating affairs in the past, meeting the needs of a special needs child, and then the wife who is isolated/not meeting her own social wellness needs.
More than anything I want us both to be able to be happy. I think I could live with monogamy even though it isn't what I want as long as there was trust and happiness again. I want her to understand that I'm different and that doesn't make me a bad person or mean that I don't love her. In my mind I'm Poly, into BDSM, and even have some bisexual tendencies. But she sees all of those things as sinful so how can we have open discussions about them? I've told her two out if three of those things and neither went well. If I told her the third then I know our relationship would be over.
I guess I just struggle with these vanilla relationships that just seem so surface level to me where everybody pretends they never have feelings for another human being. They pretend they don't ever look at another person lustfully. That type of relationship just seems so surface level to me.
And yes, we have a lot if cards stacked against us right now.