At this time...
- Are you wanting her to understand emerging poly you while maintaining a monogamous marriage?
- Are you wanting an open relationship with her and want to change the marriage shape with her?
- Are you wanting an open relationship NOT with her, and want to end the marriage with her?
- Something else?
I just wanted to check in where you are at this point in time because I get lost. There's so many other layers there with healing from cheating affairs in the past, meeting the needs of a special needs child, and then the wife who is isolated/not meeting her own social wellness needs.