So we talked, and it went fairly well. She understands how I feel, even my concerns about feeling second best when that is not the relationship we signed up for. She gets how inherently unfair it is and feels a lot of guilt about it. That said, she isn't ready and I don't want to push her so I set a date to revisit it in a few months.
Where is hinge's voice in this? What IS the open model relationship you all signed up to practice? Are all the players on the same page with that? Understand the "how we agree to be together in this relationship?" Or are those agreements still in development? Sounds like the boundaries around sex share are. Maybe some of these helps articulate those activities/boundaries:
That's good that you all want to work it out and set terms you all can live with in the meanwhile. Hopefully hinge's voice is in accord.
Hopefully when the check in date rolls around, all of you can move it along further.