Hi. Thanks for the support. It really sucks. I've been with my H for almost 10 years. We started swinging after 3 years into our relationship. I never really new or thought of.being poloy until my parents split because of infidelity. I told mt H I was glad I didn't feel I owned him and he could do whatever he wanted with anyone. Looking back he seemed surpried and happy. We went to Swingers clubs in Vegas and had a hand full of sexual causual encounters. And a few years later some neighbors. But we were not poly at the time it was just swinging.
We currently live in northern CA and it was about a year ago I met a women at a mutual friends house. We were doing shots together and having fun. We made out and she said later she loved me. This was deffinatly a fling but my H didn't like her it ended after 3 months.
5 months later he suggested we try swinging again. I was surprised and told him I wasn't ready. But he joined a swinging site and I checked it out. We had fun posting with others when he met Serena. He said why not write her back. We had many messages for a few weeks and phone conversations. A month later we all met.
I fell in love before we met and told my H I felt I was falling for her. He said he didn't want to stop me from having experiences I wanted to have. We were gf for 4 months during which time we met up twice a month for a few days at a time. They live three hours away. But with each encounter, phone call and text my H became more and more upset.
We all were sexually active together but our H's both became more and more jelous and didn't like the time we wanted to have alone for every new reason under the sun each time we were together. They would say that's fine or this is fine and then be upset we did this or that. Needless to say the trust from our H's became nill when it came to what they express they wanted or needed and no amount of change on our parts for them was good enough or what the acctually ment. I still have deep feelings for her. I connected with her in a way I haven't with anyone ever. I miss her every day. In the end she ended it with me saying she couldn't handle how her husband was being. We bother have children and agreed early on that our own families need to come first.
I have a huge hole in my heart still and don't have a clue what to do. We still talk and are trying to maintain a friendship. But it's been really tough and I haven't seen her for over 2 months now. If we all hang out again I feel like I should only have a friendship with them and her to avoid the pain of upsetting our H's again... Not what I want but it seems it may be for the better of our families.
Thanks for hearing my long rant. Forgive the typos. My phone dosen't move the curser where i tap my finger making editing impossible.
Last edited by PolyNorCalFam; 02-24-2014 at 05:59 PM.
Reason: typed was instead of wasn't. big difference. ;)