Very well balanced, Schrodingers.
I'm wondering how the wife is going to get over the compunction at all. "Needing time" is pretty amorphous. Yes, time heals most wounds, but aren't there concrete steps like discussions or counseling that would actively move her acceptance forward?
On one hand, putting off sex for a few months seems innocuous when balanced against the health of a long-standing marriage. On the other hand, that seems very, VERY monogamous to impose. Why is it valid for the husband to shelve his love for someone at all, as long as he's been open and honest about things?
Hell, there are some on here that would say it's none of the wife's business if they've agreed to be poly.
It's not hard to imagine having an amazing romantic getaway with someone and have it be agonizing to force yourself to stop right at the most inopportune time. Sure, we're all rational adults. We stop ourselves from our carnal desires every day. But what is going to mystically happen to make the wife "ok" with things?
I can see both sides of this issue.
Me - male, 42, poly, straight, in a serious relationship with Audrey, also casually dating.
Audrey - female, 20, poly, pansexual, also casually dating.