Where are his needs and feelings in all of this? Why are his wife and his girlfriend making agreements about what he does with his penis, with him as an idle bystander?
She's free to make requests of him. He's free to agree or disagree to those requests. If he agrees, then respecting his autonomy entails accepting agreements he makes with other people.
It's understandable that he would agree to delay sexual intercourse until his wife is comfortable with it. I don't blame him for wanting to wait until there won't be a huge fallout from having sex outside his marriage. We're free to make choices; we're not free from the consequences of our choices. You don't need penis-in-vagina sex to have a good time, so why would he risk the happiness of his marriage over something that will be just as much fun in a few months?
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."