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Old 02-23-2014, 04:03 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Just a couple of things I wanted to add:

Just because someone is bi doesn't mean that they are going to dump someone of one sex to be with someone of another. I'm bi, or pan if that's the term you prefer, I wouldn't dump my husband or boyfriend just because it would be EASIER to date a girl if they weren't in the picture.

For the most part, poly people are poly because they love more than one person at a time. PERSON. Whatever that person may be. Male, Female, Trans, anything in between.

The hardest part of being in a relationship with someone who is poly, especially if you are mono, is learning that there is a lot more work to relationships than we think. You can't assume anymore, you can't fall back on your insecurities and triggers and just steer clear of them. You have to talk, communicate, be honest, talk about expectations and work through your insecurities and triggers. EVERYONE in the poly relationship must do that for it to be successful.

So, sounds like you need to talk, communicate and really start to work on yourself and why certain things are a trigger for you. Honestly, sexuality should have NOTHING to do with whether or not someone is more inclined to leave you. Slightly insulting as both my partners are straight and mono and I'm not. Doesn't mean I'll dump them to go with someone more like me in sexuality or relationship style.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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