If there is absolutely no hard-wiring involved in the desire to pursue multiple relationships, why do so many people cheat on their spouses despite genuine desires to remain "faithful?" Given that these people have so much to lose, from the respect of their peers to their very relationship, and that these people claim to genuinely want to be monogamous, why do they struggle so?
Our society overwhelmingly dictates that we be monogamous. Our behaviour as an animal species overwhelmingly demonstrates that we are not. Governments have been trying to make us monogamous since the dawn of agriculture. It makes transfer of land titles so much simpler when you know who's your daddy, and who's your daddy's eldest son. Yet despite 20,000 years of "nurture," here we are: as non-monogamously-inclined as ever. It appears as though nurture is losing the battle.
There's exactly one species of ape (gibbons) that is hard-wired for monogamy. They live in single family units, with a good 40 km between groups. Each and every other species of ape lives in some kind of larger social group, with sex shared in some way between at least some members of the group. Humans are apes. We're not above them, we're not evolved from them, we are them. Our closest relatives, chimps and bonobos, are tremendously non-monogamous. They don't even pretend. We're a little more clever than most of them, which allows us to make choices to override our biological urges, but intelligence does not negate the existence of hard-wired tendencies.
I don't need labels to define me. They're sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-23-2014 at 06:54 AM.