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Old 02-22-2014, 06:14 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by Jukebox View Post
I don't want him looking at it fondly- I want it gone.
Your language here is pretty specific. It isn't the existence of the pic or that you saw it... it's that you are afraid of what it means that he enjoys having it, correct? You said that the two of you both broke agreements you had made throughout your relationship but it sounds like these infractions are still sore and causing distrust. It's been said and alluded to already that this pic isn't the actual issue.

Do you accept him how he is? Do you trust that he will follow through with his agreements to you in the future?

If you trust him and know that he will act in a fashion which will not knowingly cause you harm then there should not be an issue with what he has done in the past or the fact that he has a memento he likes. Since this rather insignificant memento is causing you grief my guess is that you have tried to pretend away the damage done in the past and need to seriously work on forgiveness and building trust.

Originally Posted by Jukebox View Post
Is this something I should put my foot down on? Or let it slide? Or try to work it out another way?
This question horrifies me. If you view your partner as an adult and you are not in a power exchange (dom/sub) arrangement, the answer to this question should be readily apparent. No, you most certainly should not do anything that would qualify as "putting your foot down" because he refused to do as he was told regarding a piece of his property. It's his picture and this is your problem. You asked him to destroy it... he quite plainly refused your request as is his right.

That is, of course, simply my own outlook as I don't allow loved ones to tell me what I can and can't do with my things/time/emotions.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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