New relationship, flirting with the idea of Poly
Hey everyone, this is my first time in a community like this :P
Very recently, a couple of months, I started seeing this girl. Everything has been rather unexpected and there is a sense of spontaneity to it that is rather nice. After a series of long mono relatinships, I've found myself in a place in life where I cannot intellectually, and morally, excuse (to myself) the imposition of monoamory. This doesn't mean, however, that there isn't an inmense emotional blockade which springs up when considering the posibility of going poly. We've had this conversation and although we both said that, as for now, we aren't interested in anyone else, we've left the possibility open that this might happen, and that if it does, we need to talk about it.
This has, in turn, led me to face a bunch of my own insecurities: feelings of being insufficient, not valuable enough, of being "dumped for another", etc. These manifest as the fear of her actually starting to date someone else. This, in turn, has lead to the fear of falling for her, and since my other relationships didn't end particularly well (lots of heartbreak involved), I am super scared this happens again.
I thought I'd share these thoughts with people that probably have been through similar things.