GalaGirl, your post got me thinking, and I believe you're completely right about why he friendzoned the other girl: she's long distance. She's in another state, and they have only talked to and been with each other in person a few times. Otherwise, it's over the internet. J, on the other hand, is right here.
I told him last night that it made me sad that he was hitting on someone who H was trying to get to know, and he backpedaled a bit and said that wasn't his intention. Whatever.
So I guess now my next move is to figure out what my next move is!
Me: married to H for 14 years.
M: Boyfriend of about 1 year.
M2: Boyfriend's girlfriend of about 5 years, and a good friend of mine.