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Old 02-22-2014, 06:10 AM
Jukebox Jukebox is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Default Partner took a picture of unprotected sex

Hi all,

A bit about my relationship with my boyfriend: polyamorous, we are each others' primary partner. We have relationships with other people but we prioritize our relationship with each other. We have been long distance for a while and we are going to be living in the same city in a few months. So now a few problems are coming to the surface as we contemplate being more directly in each other's daily lives.

My boyfriend and I have both fucked up a few times in this relationship. We have both done things we agreed not to and hurt each others feelings. We are trying to grow and be more consistent with each other. Here's the problem. My boyfriend took a picture of himself having sex with someone without a condom on. And he just shared his google drive of pictures with me so I can get vacation pictures and stuff. I am not bothered by pictures of other lovers (this is permissible) but that picture of him having unsafe sex? I hate it. I asked him to delete it and he said no.

Here is why I want him to delete it: I think it inhibits us from moving on. I was livid when I learned he broke my trust and I don't want him to keep mementos of his dishonest actions. I don't want him looking at it fondly- I want it gone.

Here is why he doesn't want to: Well, he likes it. It's a picture that turns him on and he enjoys it. And he tells me that the damage has already been done and he will move on and he promises to be consistent and refrain from unprotected sex. He says that it is an enjoyable picture and it's not harming anyone.

So what am I supposed to do with this? All of the pieces are in motion. I quit my job and found someone to take my apartment. I am definitely moving (and hey fuck it, I want to move, boyfriend or no). Is this something I should put my foot down on? Or let it slide? Or try to work it out another way?
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