I went along with it because she is my best friend and we are new at this. None of us even knew the term polyamory, we just fell in love. It wasn't until we started reading and researching that we realized those sorts of boundaries didn't have to exist and they don't necessarily help their relationship, and they sure as heck don't help mine.
So he attempted to have the conversation without me and it didn't go well apparently. So he and I just had a conversation about whether we were a triad or a V because they shouldn't be having conversations about my sex life with no input from me. So the three of us are going to sit down once the babies go to sleep tonight. I am fine waiting for her to get more comfortable but I am not okay feeling secondary and less than. I don't get to dictate their sex life and they shouldn't get to dictate mine. Again, I can wait but I want to know if I am waiting three months or three years.