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Old 02-22-2014, 01:02 AM
OptimistiCynic OptimistiCynic is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 4
Default Any other gay men in a relationship with a bisexual man?


I am a 35 year old gay man in a relationship of almost a year with a really amazing 28 year old bi man. We have been friends for about 2 1/2 years. He told me shortly after we started dating that at first he hadn't wanted to date me because he was looking for a girlfriend, but he really liked me and so he went for it. Our relationship has been amazing. I have told him from the get go that I don't mind if he also dates girls, but lately we have been discussing opening up our relationship in a more polyamorous way and inviting a woman into our relationship, so that he can also have what he gets her as well as what he gets from me. My only rule really is he can't try to bring in one of my friends.

He and a girl who is a very close friend of mine started to develop feelings for one another (oh, did I mention they are roommates, although he sleeps at my house every night). Before anything happened he came to tell me what was going on, and I felt hurt and betrayed and I told him so. I thought for a moment that perhaps it would work, after all, I already liked her. But I thought about her relationship to my roommates (they're great friends) and our extended circle, and it only ended badly in my head, not to mention that the idea of the two of them together made me so insanely jealous and angry. So that got nipped in the bud. Or rather it will have been as of tonight when they have a conversation. He is willing to let that slide by and focus on finding someone who is not already in the network. And that makes me love him even more.

I guess my biggest fear though is that he will get frustrated at meeting girls who like him, but aren't amenable to a situation that includes me, and that the frustration will become overwhelming to him and he will leave me in order to make it easier to find a girl.

I have voiced this to him and he has tried to make me feel as safe and secure as possible which right now is like an 85%, which I don't think is so bad.

Anyone out there ever been in a similar situation?

Thanks for letting me rant.
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