How do I have this conversation
So far our triad has worked amazingly well. I have never felt happier or safer in my life. There had been very little jealousy and lots of compersion, we are all happy. My female partner started off with several boundaries for her husband and I, and quickly dropped all but one. He and I are not allowed to have actual intercourse. She has said from the beginning that this will change eventually, she just isn't there yet. He and I are having our first romantic weekend away next week, and I worry that we might go there. I don't want to break her trust, and I don't want to deny what I feel for him. So clearly we need to renegotiate this boundary. Well not renegotiate it- drop it all together.
I don't even know how to broach the conversation. Do we all have it together, do they have it, do her and I have it?? This is hard because they have only ever had intercourse with each other. This seems unfathomable to me, but it was a big thing to them. I feel like I am in high school again and am doing the technical virgin thing. We do absolutely everything else, our beds and sleeping situation are all very fluid and we function wonderfully except for this. Maybe I should just let it be for awhile longer. It's only been a couple of months.