"Everyone" blames Matt? I sure don't. Takes 2 to tango, and in this case, it's a 3way dance. I don't think casting blames helps, but you had a role in the end of the relationship too, Ry. You were distant from Matt, and from your kid, working a lot, spending lots of time with Si, not communicating well with anyone. You've also expressed having had low self esteem in the past, which is changing now.
If Si's relationship needs changed over time, hey, it happens. If she decided she wanted monogamy with you, and you weren't able to provide it, I do hope she finds it with someone else, as you have found monogamy with Matt is now what you want!
I didn't want to pursue polyamory when my kids were young. Even though I always felt poly, I made the decision to not date, even after our "unicorn" and my ex h were in love. However, once my my kids were in their late teens and early 20s, needing less of me, having lives of their own, I found pursuing polyamory to work quite well for me. I also have time for hobbies!
But that scenario is 17 years in your future. I don't see a need to defend your decision. It is perfectly reasonable.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Last edited by Magdlyn; 02-21-2014 at 02:03 AM.