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Old 02-21-2014, 01:04 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I really admire your life and the way you articulate your thoughts and emotions.
Thanks! I realise I can write a bit convolutedly on here, and I wonder if the story is too difficult to follow. I'm glad it is enjoyable reading, at least for some

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Ocean sounds adorably wonderful.
He is. He really is.

A poem he shared with me very early on in our relationship is still a powerful expression of the strength he is in my life. It's 'Free love' by Rabindranath Tagore:

By all means they try to hold me secure, who love me in this world. But it is otherwise with thy love, which is greater than theirs, and thou keepest me free. Lest I forget them, they never venture to leave me alone. But day passes by after day and thou art not seen. If I call not thee in my prayers, if I keep not thee in my heart, thy love for me still waits for my love.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I hope you can work through the rough places with Grotto and Lobe.
Me too. The good aspects are so good, and the challenges seem to push me to be a better person. I'm also excited by the potential... These are the contemporary adventures, the terrain yet-to-be-mapped. We are bold, intrepid, making paths for others to follow, with boots and machetes.

That said, I feel somewhat detached about it too. Either it works, really works, or it doesn't. This is an experiment, and - however things pan out - in a sense we succeed if we simply manage to see it for what it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Something I have been curious about--they both seem very needy and/or mono-minded and/or easily upset by you just being yourself. Do you ever find that annoying? I feel like I would have lost patience with each of their issues by now, and I really admire that you haven't and that you care about them so deeply.
Hmm. My patience is partly because I care, but also because I see how this is worthwhile for me too. They are both really special people, and I love how my relationships with them enable me to learn, create and grow. Yes, the relationships have been more challenging in some ways, than my relationship with Ocean. But in other ways less so. For example, I haven't yet had to deal with either Grotto or Lobe feeling un-sexual towards me. Making peace with long periods of asexuality, with Ocean, has been tough.

Another reason why the rough times don't annoy me, could be that they're a signficant help for me to understand my own needs. MeeraReed, perhaps you have more clarity about what you need or want in partners or lovers. I'm still figuring a lot of things out. I find it easier to learn by doing. Oh sure, I read to learn, too. And share stories. And think about things. But mostly I just do it. Jump in, flail about, choke on water, clutch at vegetation, pull myself out, shake off, dry myself in the sun, laugh to myself and think "ok, what the fuck happened there? What have we learnt today, fuchka?"
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