I remember the first time I had a one-on-one date with Moonlight at her house, which occurred about a week or two after she had hosted both Fly and I for a threesome night. We'd known her for maybe a month at that point, and had all had sex together at least three times.
She and I had partaken of some herb, which I don't do very often, and I got a little chemically tipsy. At one point, while Moonlight and I were having the most amazing sex of my life, I thought foggily, "Well, at least if she chains me up in her basement, Fly knows where she lives!" Um, paranoid much?
I also remember that when I had my first date with Fly, a few days later he mentioned that he'd seen my car outside my workplace, and had contemplated dropping in to say hi. He'd seen my car on our date, I'd told him the name of the company at some point while chatting, and the street was a regular route for the delivery truck he drove at the time. Yet, even though it was all easily explained, it still felt stalkerish, and it took me longer to let down my guard after that than it might have otherwise. Obviously, it wasn't a problem, but I don't regret listening to my gut and being self-protective.
At the bottom of it, I think a small amount of paranoia is healthy, and if someone is huffy about any precautions I take to make myself feel safer, then they're not really someone I'm particularly interested in dating. If it gets to the point where someone is scared of everyone, and sees monsters behind everyone's eyes, that's sad and disturbed. But holding people at arms' length until you're sure of them is, in my opinion, just smart.
- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 11-year-old son Kiddo