Newbie question..too complicated to summarise!!
OK, this is a bit complicated but i'll try to simplify as much as possible. My husband and I separated for two years (monogamous relationship) and have now been reconciled nearly a year. We continue to live in separate houses for practical reason that I won't bore you all with. One of the reasons we separated was because I had 'issues' with our sex life which at the time I didn't understsnd. During our separation I learnt that I have subby/ masochistic tendencies that need frequent attention, something that i'm now very comfortable with and consider to be a need much like anything else. Despite efforts on his part these bdsm itches continue to go unscratched, and as result we are considering polygamy.
Here's the complicated bit...during our separation I had a very intense relationship that i've been unable to truly let go from. I love my husband very, very much, but can't deny that the feelings for this other man are still there. I don't want to come across as niave and realise that polyamory involves all parties to feel comfortable, safe and trusted. Is it wrong that I'm considering reentering the relationship with this other man? If I was reading this my first thought would be 'hell woman, you need to work on the relationship with your husband first'. However, these subby/masochistic itches run very deep in me and without it I find sex incredibly unsatisfying, which is starting to affect my relationship with my husband. The bottom line is i need something that he can't provide. It feels like history is repeating itself.
Any advice/feedback would be very much welcome, even if it's to stop wanting my cake and eat it!!
Last edited by happy2bhere; 02-19-2014 at 06:13 PM.