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Old 02-19-2014, 02:18 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,711

For me, the idea of knowing too many details makes me uncomfortable (at least in the early stages). Even now, I have no interest in knowing how many times Dude has sex with Lotus when they are together...I just want to know that they both had a good time and are happy with how their relationship is proceeding. (And the reason I want to know even that much is because I am friends with/involved with her as well, as is MrS - so there are multiple levels of caring involved - I want everyone to be happy/satisfied on many fronts.)

Maybe you need to step back a bit. NOT know when/how many times they have sex. Ask him not to "overshare" - so you are not tempted to compete. Focus on your relationship with him - are you satisfied? Are you getting the attention (physical, emotional, intellectual, etc.) that YOU need? If not, then ask for what you want explicitly (for yourself - not in relation to what she is getting).

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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