A quick update, we have been talking “C” very often. “B” awoke yesterday, to feelings of doubt. She was letting “what – if’s” bring her down. She and I spoke about it all morning, which I think helped her somewhat. I then left for work and she spoke to “C” about it all. She wanted to be sure that C knew how she was feeling about this. It started with a text that said “Hey babe I need to talk to you. I am having a rough time today, but I am in no way backing out of this relationship. I just have some concerns.”
The two of them spoke very deeply about reservations that they each have. B opened up about a fear of me and C falling in love and leaving her. C reassured B that she was in no way interested in either her or me without the other. She stated that she was only interested in this relationship if we all five were involved (us 3 and our two children). The answers she gave reassured both, B and I, which C is undoubtedly in this for the right reasons. B was very happy that she spoke with C about this. After their talk, B said “a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders”.
C then expressed two concerns of her own. The first was about her family. She wanted to keep this relationship from her family, for the time being. Her family is very Christian and controlling of her in some ways. She knows that the news of this relationship will, without a doubt, interfere with relationship with her parents. She doesn’t want to drive a wedge in their relationship, which is completely understandable. We all agreed to keep this from her family and even some of B’s family. Later down the road, when our relationship grows, we will revisit this agreement.
Secondly, C expressed her concern about her. That is, what if one day she falls in love with someone else. B and I had already discussed this before and we relayed to C what we came up with. We let her know that she is not now nor would she ever be a prisoner of this relationship. She reassured us that she was in this relationship 100% and never for a second look for that. I believe that she was wondering in case of “a prince charming/love at first sight” situation arose. We expressed to her that we expect commitment and that cheating would not be tolerated by any of us.
I believe that if any of us become unhappy with this relationship or with others, then that person should leave and find the happiness they deserve and/or desire. On the contrary, I believe that it is the duty of the other two persons to keep each of us happy and re-falling in love with each other.
Having us all on the same page leaves us each with a peace of mind. We are trying to get together and hang out more, but for unnamed reasons we haven’t been able to so. We do speak to each other many times daily.
D = Me
B = Wife
Together for 10 years.