Sorry you are going through this. One can hope your wife will eventually see what a douche R is and ditch him, but that may not mean she'll want to go back to monogamy. I similarly steamrolled my husband when I fell hard for someone who turned out to be, well, not at all who I thought she was. But afterwards, I looked at the bigger picture and realized multiple partners was still something I wanted badly, even if not with who I originally thought. It took my husband and me a year and a half to come to some arrangements we could both agree with for the time being.
Your marriage will need to be very strong if this is going to work. One partner can't be feeling neglected, you will need serious quality time together and as a family. If either one of you goes numb or checks out, it spells disaster.
The good news is, you are now communicating! I found that once we got through the initial shock, my relationship with my husband actually became stronger and more passionate. He stopped taking me for granted, and I started opening up to him more emotionally. Connection and communication, and THEN you can hash out the details. Good luck!
Last edited by LoveBunny; 02-18-2014 at 01:14 PM.
Reason: grammatical error!