I will give you the benefit of the doubt and consider that maybe (hopefully) you didn't intend for that to come across as judgemental as it sounded.
It seems I wasn't clear enough on the fact that I know I am not ready for another relationship right now and that I am working through my issues as hard as I can while still remaining functional.
As for not thinking relationship decisions through: if you are referring to me moving to the US and marrying then, actually, that decision was years in the making and I thought a lot about it. If I could do it over then I'd go about it a different way (avoiding my in-law) but I know why I did what I did and it made sense for me at the time. I had no way of knowing that I would be so mistreated.