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Old 02-17-2014, 05:17 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Grotto's quite unwell. He's been dealing with difficult things around relationship dynamics, and with his work. His mood has become quite volatile, somewhat exacerbated by substance use. It's hard to tell how much is down to what. It's all mixed up.

I'm failing at being enough for him, right now. We've got into a bad position where he's been needing more time and I've been needing space. Not sure if I've written here about it before, but one of the more serious points of tension between Grotto and me is that he can easily feel abandonment, while I am quick to run if I feel trapped or engulfed. It may be that I need to take a break from both Grotto and Lobe for a bit. Because of their friendship with each other, and because of how certain things are triggering for Grotto, it wouldn't work for me to get space from Grotto but still be spending time with Lobe.

Not sure if this is needed, yet. Will see. Grotto asked if I would go to a counsellor with him. I found some options, but I don't know if I have the energy right now for counselling. I think it would be better to wait til we're both in the right headspace.

I've asked him to focus on self-care, and try to deal with the aspects of this that he has control over. Basically, take responsibility for his own wellness.

Meanwhile, I'm taking care of myself. It's good.
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