Originally Posted by bofish
I totally agree with all of you. And I do plan to stop. It's my issue. I have been conditioned to put others before myself. And my husband really is not the best go between. I think my husband might be pushing us in a triad, which we don't want....there might be the difficulty. If I say, well, can you clean up and leave us dinner before you spend the night there...he hems and haws and says "She feels like a booty call" or "she wants more time."
What I'm hearing from you guys is that it's a problem in my marriage. It's also a problem with me getting up in her business, right? I guess you're saying she's blameless and if he tells me, she wants me over earlier, I need to say, that's not my problem and I don't want to hear it.
If I'm her, and I want more time, I would talk with him about it and expect him to take care of talking to you himself. Blameless? I don't know, but it's irrelevant here.
I'm sure I said something recently, but this is why I won't get into any other relationships with a partner whose significant other won't meet or talk with me. It gets absurdly complicated for me to go through my partner as a middle man. I don't need her to want to be my BFF or even get in bed with me. But I do need minimal respect and communication.