Originally Posted by london
But supposing, due to her being childfree and outgoing, she routinely makes her own plans at short notice? She can't invite you to something in June if she doesn't know she's going. If she invites you both at short notice, decline. He should only accept if it tallies with his scheduled time with her. She will adapt to maximize her time with him. But he has to handle his shit.
I normally give short notice; I have to, due to my schedules. If I do not have a close friendship with my metamour, I don't take her or his schedule into consideration at all, nor do I feel that makes me a bad person. I expect my partner to be taking her schedule into consideration. If he doesn't, that's on him and her to work on their relationship.