Originally Posted by bofish
but an "fair" relationship between 3 people to me would be three people considering the needs of, well, three people. .
But you're not in a triad. Your h has a gf. She is not your lover, or even your close friend, just a metamour. If you feel like you're acting like a doormat to make it easier for your h and her to get together, STOP. Never mind you think she's a fancy free single. Your h isn't. He is a husband and a dad. You can have expectations of him to do XYZ around the house before he goes to play with his friend.
Also, you could hire household help or a babysitter. You say your son is too old for a sitter but too young to be left alone? Hogwash. If he's too old to be left alone, he needs a sitter.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (42, M) since Oct 2015 (he has recently downgraded us to friends)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years