Originally Posted by Magdlyn
You want housework/child care exchange with your h's gf too? She has no obligation to watch your kid or your pets or anything else. Some partners do share household care. My current bf happens to enjoy helping me and miss pixi around the house, lifting heavy things like a man. But I've had plenty of previous lovers who had no interest in that at all. I don't think you can put that expectation on your h's gf. Maybe you'll find a bf or gf who will help you with childcare and household maintenance someday. That could be on YOUR wish list, but it's not something your h's gf is required to do for YOU! I sure don't expect my bf Ginger's current wife, or 2 others to do anything around MY house! lol
I don't think you're a "bad" wife, but I agree with Magdlyn, the things you're asking are unrealistic. Speaking for myself, if I had secondary status with my boyfriend, and his wife asked me to do things for HER? Now, I happen to do those things, bring her soup, help with household chores, take care of the kids. But when I watch the kids, it's because I consider them my family as well, and I want that opportunity to develop a relationship with them. I have a primary style relationship with my partner (and thus I do have a relationship with the wife). I am a part of their household, though I will never live there. He takes both our schedules into consideration. He does everything he can to ensure I have what I need.
Are you willing to do for your husband's gf what she and he are willing to do for me?