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Old 02-16-2014, 03:55 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,542
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I think you need encouragement. I could guess wrong.

My suggestion? Control you temper.

Take simplest path. Print your post. Give it to her. Tell her you feel scared for her to read it but you have a need to be understood and want to share inner thoughts but please be gentle with you cause it was hard to go there and speak your truths if even at a whisper.

Then stop worrying about her emotional management and fearing that she will not control her tempers. You either trust her or not to treat you well. If she wigs, ask her why she is making it be about her? When you ask for a moment of her time to talk about something on your mind, it is about you. She can have her turn later. Could she be willing to keep it on you? Needs a time out to get her own tempers tamed first? Dare to talk openly and honestly.

You control your own emotional management. Right now you are letting fear temper get the best of you. Learn to control your temper.

Anger temper is not the only temper. Express your feelings but control your tempers when you relate to loved ones. One controls anger temper and does not shout or punch. One controls fear temper and does not sell a loved one short and not allow them opportunity to know you when you want to be known and understood because... It feels scary being out there nekkid emotionally.

If she has poor temper control, one does not sell loved ones short and not give new opportunity to exercise that skill and grow. In normal relationship... I am not talking about abusive ones. You are her partner and there to help her grow into her best self. As she is you. You do not withhold opportunity for her to exercise weak skills and grow stronger.

Most important...You also sell yourself short when you do not step up to the occasion and risk experiencing non-doom and loving treatment. Are you serving your need to be understood and be loved as you are or serving your tempers when you do that holding back behavior?

Other people in this life might be willing to sell you short. That is not reason or excuse for YOU to sell you short.

You cannot ruin your relationship by speaking openly and honestly in it. That behavior helps support healthy relating, not destroy it.

That is my advice to you. Express your feelings. Both risk learning to control tempers. Meet your own needs.

And the need for your shared relationship to be healthy and strong .

Play ball, dude. Don't bench yourself! Life is not a dress rehearsal. You only get the one .

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 02-16-2014 at 04:28 PM.
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