Sometimes it can take years to get over an ex, especially when it comes to a crashing halt. I do think however, that you and Baggage Patrol get a little obsessive in your thoughts about your exes, get caught up in "what ifs" and "if onlys."
Just my perspective, but why not look at it as, "We grew apart. We no longer saw eye to eye. Our relationship needs diverged over time."
It's no one's fault. We are all flawed human beings on this hard complicated life journey. We all have our paths to follow in life. Sometimes our paths match another human's path (or 2 or 3 lovers' paths, and of course, platonic friends' paths). Sometimes you can walk that path together for decades, with minor side trips. Sometimes the paths coincide for mere days, weeks, months or a few short years.
A relationship can be a "success" for any length of time. It doesn't have to last decades for it to be useful for your growth and enjoyment of life on this planet.
You could just let her go. Si has her needs, her paths to follow now. They do not match yours. You've diverged. So be it!
Let time take care of healing the loss. You've got plenty of good stuff to distract you now!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37