Originally Posted by WhatHappened
I don't really see 'polyamorous' as something people are, for the simple reason that I think most people can fall in love with multiple people, given the right people. Rather, I see 'polyamorous' as a relationship style. So to me, the real issue for you is to study the ins and the outs of such a style, and discuss it with her.
I see it as both. Some people are only comfortable in monogamous relationships, so these are monogamous people. Some people are only comfortable in polyamorous relationships, so these are polyamorous people. Some people can go either way depending on the partner, so these are like the poly version of bisexual.
By analogy, you can identify as a homosexual person or a heterosexual person, and that will dictate what kind of relationships you'll have. But if you're bisexual then you can have homosexual relationships or heterosexual relationships.