I have an ex-boyfriend (my pre marriage days) who I recently got back in touch with. There was nothing romantic, we were not interested in anything except being friends. We had been IM'ing and that is all. Unfortunately his wife doesn't like me very much, although you could say that if I hadn't broken up with him they would never have met. Other than my breaking his heart, she has no reason not to like me, especially after 7-8 odd years.
They have two different definitions of what is personal and private, his is much more lenient than hers and we would talk about things like sex, but not in the context of us having it. She had a fit. Now we can not talk...possibly ever again.
I was so upset and hurt that I wrote him an email and said a few things, without really thinking of how they would be taken, basically insulting him for not standing up for himself. A week later I wrote him an apology but I doubt I'll hear from him any time soon.
Yes, it sucks to have a friendship ripped away, especially in your case where it is more than platonic friendship. Even if she didn't already actively dislike you, you have one thing that she doesn't have with him, a past. Sometimes that is enough for some people to feel insecure and fearful.
I hope in time you and your ex can work with the wife to come to some kind of arrangement, whether as just friends or as more. Remember, it is not you, but her insecurities that is making this happen.
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.