I try to remember that every single person is doing the best that they can-with what they have in any given situation.
Her best may suck for you-but hating her won't make her best any better.
OFTEN times when we treat people with true loving kindness-it does help their best get better.
She hates you-why?
Does she KNOW you?
My husbands ex-wife has hated me for years.
Everyone thought it was because I'm the new wife.
It's because she felt like I was a better mother to her son than she could ever be.
I WAS and AM a better mother to our son than she has ever BEEN-but she CAN improve.
Tomorrow she goes in to rehab (again). No one will have anything to do with her, NO ONE.
I have written her every few days-for 2 weeks. I spent Sunday on my knees praying for her at church. I told her I'd keep her in my thoughts and in my prayers, I have.
She wrote me today, "God bless you. No one else has ever shown they cared as much as you-and always through everthing I put you through-you've kept it up. I hope I can be that strong someday."
Maybe she will, maybe she won't.
But I can assure you she's a LOT easier to deal with like that then when she's violent and out of control.
MAYBE it's time for you to take the bull by the horns for your friend and stop trying to talk to him-talk to his wife.
Reassure her of your respect for HER position in his life. Show her that she does matter.
"Love As Thou Wilt"