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Old 02-14-2014, 05:16 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,863

Originally Posted by nichtdaisy View Post
... Its so tempting to drop my needs and not do anything to further shake my primary's confidence in himself when he is feeling this down, but if I look back on the last six months, he is always down, always discouraged, and I already feel like I am treating him with kid gloves, which is making me a little resentful. But, I don't want to kick a man when he is down!...
I understand this urge...and would encourage you to (if you decide to go this route) put a time limit on this.

When MrS was devastated my "Jack-assery" mistake (you can read all about it in my blog if you like) combined with his depression and going off his meds...I gave myself (not him) a limit. If, in one year, he was still not OK and wanted to divorce me then I would let him go without a fight to find his own happiness - until then I was willing to shut down anything else and give our marriage everything I could. (We had been together almost two decades at that point - your time frame might be different)

Ultimately, if nothing changes and he is perennially miserable...?!
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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