Originally Posted by seakinganswers
I will never admit to being the type of guy who would easily be able to find what I'm looking for in relationships. lol
But I will say if a potential mate talked the way some of y'all do about relationship expectations I'd slowly back away and run for the door. I understand that makes me sound selfish but it could be argued that's its selfish to expect so many commitments from your lover too.
When I love somebody I cherish the time we spend together. I see every moment together as a gift from God, but if I ever thought she would be happier in a different situation then I'd kick her out the door if I had to. Because I love her enough to lose her or risk losing her if it means she is happier. And I would be attracted to someone else who felt the same way. In other words I'd be more attracted to a free spirit who takes life a moment at a time, and realizes that not every relationship has to be leading towards a lifelong commitment to be valuable.
If you're someone that gets completely torn apart and has a hard time getting over losing someone though then this type of relationship would probably not interest you at all.
Totally agreed! That said experience is a harsh mistress. We are sharing our experiences. I imagine that all of us to some degree have found that the actual experience of polyamory deviated from our initial expectations.
Also, I don't think you are quite understanding something. We are not necessarily talking about a lifelong commitment, but we are saying that we would not want whether the relationship succeeds or fails or gets disbanded to be decided by the whims of another partner - in your case, your wife.