Today was a rough day for T. She was going through a lot. I wanted to see her, but I knew that it was probably not possible. However, when plans for myself changed, we happened upon a spontaneous opportunity to be together this evening for a few hours.
We made plans to meet this evening and spend some time together. We were both very excited as it would be a great way for her to get some stress relief and for me to relax after a hectic day at work. (oh, have I mentioned that T and I have not yet become sexually intimate?)
So, not long after plans were made I get a phone call/voicemail from D stating that T had been going through a lot and he was worried about her driving too far to visit me (we live about an hour away from each other). T has a history of becoming prone to car accidents when she is stressed out and I completely understood where D was coming from. I agreed that she shouldn't drive too much and that was that. After all, we both care about her safety and well being.
T sent me a message a little while later wondering why D and I agreed that T would not come see me this evening. I explained to T that was not the case. I was just stating that I wanted her to be safe, so I wanted her to minimize the distance she drove.
We made plans for her to drive to my work instead of my home (about 1/2 way between her home and mine) and I would then drive her the rest of the way to my house and then she could pick up her car at my work and drive home at the end of our visit together.
I got a message from T shortly before it was time for her to come to my work stating that she had not yet left her home as she was discussing the visit with D. I said that was not a problem. I wasn't really in a hurry to get home, so I figured if she was a little late, so be it. Moments later, she texts me a message saying "Not gonna make it tonite
I felt immediately sad. Not just for me, but for her. I figured it was some complication at home with D that had caused this. However, I understand the dynamics of her home life and I let her know that it was OK. I told her not to let it get her down and she could just call me later and talk. We've already got plans for Saturday night (I CAN'T WAIT!) and I figured I can hold off a few more days before I get to see her.
T told me she feels manipulated by D to not come visit me. I'm not sure why that is the case. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to her yet, but I hate it. We're most certainly falling in love with each other and I want her to be happy (and I want to be happy myself). I am frustrated because I am starting to see a pattern of D trying to manipulate our relationship. I think he's using his professional skills to impose his will on T at times.
I'm hoping this is not the case. I really do. My main concern is that if this is going to be a source of stress for T... what do I do? I don't want anything bad to come to our new found relationship, but it truly makes me sad when I see/think of her feeling down. I think (just my opinion, not confirmed by her
) that she feels like she's not given the opportunity to enjoy a true poly relationship the way she wants. I think she envisions, like I do, the ability to enjoy her partners "at will". I know that in certain situations, she would crave the comfort and security and care of D, but I know that there may be certain times where she would crave my company as well. D and I have very different personalities, which is a good thing for T. She can have the opportunity to spend time with both of us to help fill her need for different types of attention.
So, as it is... I'm sitting here writing a blog and she's sitting at home. (HOPEFULLY
not feeling bad) I can't wait for Saturday when we can be together. I try and keep things light when I am with her. I know that she can have some pretty intense conversations with D since he is so analytical and I know that T enjoys that at times, but I think she enjoys being worry free and more relaxed as well. Yes, we have intimate conversations about things that are tough to talk about at times, but I want to enjoy her in good spirits. She has a smile that lights up a room and a laugh that makes me feel like a love-struck teenage boy at times.